Stage one, we see life in us/them terms. When the other doesn’t do what we like, we want them to change so that we can be happy. Not very effective life strategy, for sure.

Stage two, we realize the we are inextricably intertwined with the events of our lives, and the outcome depends on the meaning we attach to the event.

Stage three…we realize that, as stage two suggests, we must blend with the situation, but there also exists the possibility that the situation/person/event is really a reflection of ourselves, calling us to self reflect.

Stage four…knowing that both, and neither, are true.